Money.

You have some nerve. The internet went out for about 1.5 hours this morning (yes, I know it's 7 am, I obviously haven't been to sleep) and I text you to see if it's out in the library and you say yes. I then complain that I have work due at 8 am blah blah and then you have the balls to tell me this is why I should have a smart phone. Excuse me. You don't pay for anything and you have never paid for anything. You have never worked a day in your life, everything has been handing to you on a silver platter. You don't know what it means to work for your money. That nice car you got for your 15th bday, before you even had your learners permit. You don't pay insurance on it, you have never worked hard to put the $50+ it takes to fill up your tank. So don't tell me, a productive member of society, a person who has been working since they were 15 that I need to simply "get a smart phone". I know without a shadow of a doubt that you have heard me say that when I graduate and get a real job I plan on treating myself to a smart phone. You see the difference? I work for everything I have. My parents don't just give me their credit card and say, "Get what you want." No. The second I got a job I worked for everything. I pay for my phone and I'm sorry that as a student I don't have an extra $100/month just sitting in my bank account. I'm sorry I have much bigger priorities in my life, like I don't know writing a check for $2500 to go to school last semester. Mind you that was all my money that I saved from working. Oh and how about the other $800 check I had to write this semester??? And then on top of that the minor things that teachers claim we "need", but don't (ie access to online homework, new clicker, etc...)?? All that came out of my account.

In short, I'm sorry my parents are loaded and can buy me all the toys I want, when I want them. You and your sibling don't know the value of a dollar because you've never made one, but you sure can spend them. How many cars has he had because he "wants a newer/better/prettier/w/e" one??? How many smart phones has he had??? So don't tell me I should "just" get a smart phone. You have no idea.

Baaaaack.

I've thought about it and I have no idea why I stopped ranting. "Being nice on my blog" pshhhh that's over.  The bathroom sticks, the kitchen stinks, the suite is one big trash can and I am so sick of it. Where were you raised a barn???? A certain suitemate who think she doesn't make any trash therefor feels that she doesn't have to clean actually makes the most trash. How long have your nasty empty cherry pepsis been sitting on the table and your leaking Cane's cup?  If you unwrap something you throw the wrapper on the floor right? WRONG you put it in the TRASH CAN THAT'S WHAT IT'S FOR!!!! I'm sitting downstairs just studying some organic and all I can see is your trash. You get 10 packages from your mom, that's cool, but what do you do with the stuffing? Stick it next to the trash can expecting someone else to clean it for you. It's obvious that where ever you come from mommy and daddy do everything for you because you can't even take out your own trash, wash your own dishes or chip in to clean a little. No, you're just some spoiled brat who thinks domestic chores are beneath you. One day reality is going to slap you hard. I know I will not be there to see it, but I hope you fall and break your face open and then have to clean it up yourself.

Genuine happiness.

Looking around my room I realize that I like containers. I hold on to empty containers because I like them, but at the same time I love condensing boxes. I don't know why it has taken me this long in my life to realize something like this. Evan pointed out that I had a lot of bottles lined up on my bed. I always told myself I'd just refill them and reuse them, but maybe I just like the bottle because it's a container. I would really just like to be able to organize things in a neat and concise way, but that's not possible in a dorm room, so I just stack everything. Lots of stacks. My nook is actually under a stack. Maybe I'll clean my desk off and throw out things that I don't need/want. Spring Cleaning in February. I saved my box from Zoya. Why? I dunno, there isn't anything that I can do with it either. Maybe for next year I can get a third (yes, third) 3 boxed rolling cart thing, but I doubt it. I won't have room for it. I can only fit two in my closet. I'd like a chest with a lock, but then I realized that that's just another container for things to be forgotten in. I need to clean out my red tote downstairs, there's a lotta things in there I can throw away. I also hold on to basically every grocery bag I've ever had. I reuse them for trash, but I never (unless ripped or wet) throw away a plastic trash bag. I also realized that I love sticky notes and notepads. I'm not sure where this love came from, but I believe it's here to stay. At least it's something that'll love me back. I just look around and look at things and wonder, "Why did I get that? Or when did I get that?" because I have a lotta junk. I just like to shop and thing everything piles up (lotion, body wash, shampoo,body sprays, candles, yarn, etc.) And I wonder if I'm ever going to finish it all. I honestly am trying to cut back. I don't look at sales papers anymore and when I'm physically in the store I keep reminding myself the pile of it (whatever I'm trying not to buy) that's in my room.  Sometimes I will even hold on to a bottle of something with just the dregs in it and not finish it. 

One day it'll get better. I'll be able to afford a two bedroom apartment, one bedroom for me and the second for my possessions, it'll have bookshelves from the floor to the ceiling.  

In the end, I really just want a bookshelf and super sticky sticky notes.