Genuine happiness.

Looking around my room I realize that I like containers. I hold on to empty containers because I like them, but at the same time I love condensing boxes. I don't know why it has taken me this long in my life to realize something like this. Evan pointed out that I had a lot of bottles lined up on my bed. I always told myself I'd just refill them and reuse them, but maybe I just like the bottle because it's a container. I would really just like to be able to organize things in a neat and concise way, but that's not possible in a dorm room, so I just stack everything. Lots of stacks. My nook is actually under a stack. Maybe I'll clean my desk off and throw out things that I don't need/want. Spring Cleaning in February. I saved my box from Zoya. Why? I dunno, there isn't anything that I can do with it either. Maybe for next year I can get a third (yes, third) 3 boxed rolling cart thing, but I doubt it. I won't have room for it. I can only fit two in my closet. I'd like a chest with a lock, but then I realized that that's just another container for things to be forgotten in. I need to clean out my red tote downstairs, there's a lotta things in there I can throw away. I also hold on to basically every grocery bag I've ever had. I reuse them for trash, but I never (unless ripped or wet) throw away a plastic trash bag. I also realized that I love sticky notes and notepads. I'm not sure where this love came from, but I believe it's here to stay. At least it's something that'll love me back. I just look around and look at things and wonder, "Why did I get that? Or when did I get that?" because I have a lotta junk. I just like to shop and thing everything piles up (lotion, body wash, shampoo,body sprays, candles, yarn, etc.) And I wonder if I'm ever going to finish it all. I honestly am trying to cut back. I don't look at sales papers anymore and when I'm physically in the store I keep reminding myself the pile of it (whatever I'm trying not to buy) that's in my room.  Sometimes I will even hold on to a bottle of something with just the dregs in it and not finish it. 

One day it'll get better. I'll be able to afford a two bedroom apartment, one bedroom for me and the second for my possessions, it'll have bookshelves from the floor to the ceiling.  

In the end, I really just want a bookshelf and super sticky sticky notes.