Losing My Mind

I can't find my DS, either DS. I need to find my 3DS before July, but that's not the point. The point is that whenever I'm in this town I cannot find my belongings because some people feel the need to touch my stuff and rearrange everything in no beneficial way to anyone ever. I can't even find my pictures that I printed out to start my scrapbook. I would say, "this is why I can't have nice things", but really it's, "this is why I can't have things".

I'm at the end of the road.

Every time I ask if we can book things months in advance you say, "I don't want to because I don't know where I'll be in x months." And then you have the nerve to ask me to drop my life at a moments notice to do things that require large sums of money, time off of work and normally months notice. Not everyone works year round to spend their money on whatever they want when they want. You don't have to pay for anything yet you have nothing in savings because you work and then spend entire pay checks on nothingness. I don't understand how you're so blind as to not see what you're doing. Just because it's summer doesn't mean it's "free time". I also take offense that you seem to be under the assumption that you're my number 1 and if you ask the I'll say yes, yet you treat your friends like crap and don't appreciate a thing they do. How hard is it for everyone in that town to understand that???? I have priorities that are more important than "fun" right now and for the next two years, summers included. "Fun" has not been a priority since before August 2010. I don't have time, money or energy to dillydallyshillyshally around like you do. I'm in the process of bettering myself so that I can one day have fun when I want, but now is not that time. Yet you (and your family) have the nerve to say that I'm wasting my time, but at the same time you're complaining about your family's finances and the fact that your parent's don't want to work/barley work. Perhaps this is why I speak to maybe 5 people from that place.

You need to check yourself before I check out.

There's a part of me that wants to throw away all my stuff. I buy buy buy and don't use fast enough and then I get clutter and I have a love/hate relationship with the clutter...I can feel the cleaning/organization insomnia starting to awaken.