lol

Three old gals are sitting on a park bench, and a flasher comes up and flashes them. Two of the gals have a stroke. But the third couldn't reach that far.

Why should all hurricanes be named after women? When they arrive, they're wet and wild, and when they leave, they take your house and car.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Olivia Wilde: One night, on a camping trip, Sherlock Holmes wakes up Watson and says, "Look at the stars. What do you deduce?" Watson thinks for a minute and says, "Well, I see millions of stars, many of which resemble our sun, which most likely have their own planets, which most likely have life-forms like us, so I deduce that there is life on other planets." And Sherlock says, "No, you idiot, someone's stolen our tent."